World Cancer Day

A reflection:

My world became so small that the only choice I had was to take care of me. My body became so battered that the only choice I had was introspection.

This conflict of being so inside your own head, but wanting to do anything to distract from reality, is one that’s ongoing.

When your world is small, and the people shrink away, and the emails don’t ping like they used to, and the only place you have to be is at the next appointment, you learn to love sweatpants that much more.

Alongside the physical treatment, a whole soul revival is in the works—a huge feat in itself—and is so often the counterpart to trauma and medical crisis.

Spirituality and mental health coming to the forefront like never before. An attunement to the inner voice, the past helping inform today. Is this what they mean when they say taking care of your inner child? A kiss on the forehead.

Living in a body that is rocking on the crest of break after break, trying to keep your eyes on the horizon, don’t want to get sick. Gripping the paddles, steering to stiller waters, trying not to get tossed overboard.

A heaping of forgiveness here, a buffet of discomfort there, and a tearful reckoning almost daily.